Top Diagnoses

Only the most potent brain-helps.

584 diagnoses
so far

The following is the much coveted 'Hall of Fame' for the most popular diagnoses. Freud isn't on here, and it burned him up inside.

Displaying the top 20 diagnoses from a total of 584.

Top 20 Diagnoses:

  1. 1

    You are living in your own, imaginary world. But that's ok, they know you there.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Michael

    44 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  2. 2

    You have nothing to fear except fear itself, and spiders.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Becky

    43 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  3. 3

    Stop. Right now. Think. If you're still breathing, it's not the end.

    Diagnosed by Dr. christina krasowski

    33 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  4. 4

    There is life outside of facebook.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Sarah Ketner

    32 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  5. 5

    This... is not a problem. WORLD HUNGER, is a problem.

    Diagnosed by Dr. christina krasowski

    30 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  6. 6

    You take the term "literally" too literally.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Sarah Ketner

    28 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  7. 7

    Your attempts at reconciliation with your children continually fail as you don't have any.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Stephen Fairbanks

    27 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  8. 8

    You parted ways with your sanity due to 'creative differences'.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Stephen Fairbanks

    27 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  9. 9

    You are convinced that other people can read your mind when you make eye contact.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Sarah Ketner

    27 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  10. 10

    Get off the computer already and DO something about it.

    Diagnosed by Dr. christina krasowski

    26 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  11. 11

    You must stop wearing pants, and move to the forest. It is the only way. Hurry.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Castilleja Kuzis

    26 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  12. 12

    You believe Jennifer Lopez is a real person.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Stephen Fairbanks

    23 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  13. 13

    You know, you can go to bars without going home with a stranger.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Sarah Ketner

    22 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  14. 14

    You don't get enough sleep. Throw away your alarm clock.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Sarah Ketner

    22 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  15. 15

    My diagnosis: Smoke weed everyday.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Jacob Moses

    19 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  16. 16

    You have an unwillingness to accept change. Remedy this by asking for notes only.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Kingsley Kingston Esq

    19 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  17. 17

    You CAN believe it's not butter and now think the government is coming to silence you to cover up their experiments.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Andrew Volpe

    17 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  18. 18

    Strangling kittens is not a good way to deal with your anger.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Sarah Ketner

    17 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  19. 19

    That's nothing a glass of wine can't fix.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Sarah Ketner

    17 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  20. 20

    You hear a whistling-noise inside your head, but only whilst whistling.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Stephen Fairbanks

    17 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

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