Top Diagnoses

Only the most potent brain-helps.

522 diagnoses
so far

The following is the much coveted 'Hall of Fame' for the most popular diagnoses. Freud isn't on here, and it burned him up inside.

Displaying the top 20 diagnoses from a total of 522.

Top 20 Diagnoses:

  1. 1

    You are living in your own, imaginary world. But that's ok, they know you there.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Michael

    25 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  2. 2

    Your attempts at reconciliation with your children continually fail as you don't have any.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Stephen Fairbanks

    24 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  3. 3

    You have nothing to fear except fear itself, and spiders.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Becky

    24 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  4. 4

    You are convinced that other people can read your mind when you make eye contact.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Sarah Ketner

    20 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  5. 5

    Stop. Right now. Think. If you're still breathing, it's not the end.

    Diagnosed by Dr. christina krasowski

    20 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  6. 6

    Strangling kittens is not a good way to deal with your anger.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Sarah Ketner

    17 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  7. 7

    You parted ways with your sanity due to 'creative differences'.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Stephen Fairbanks

    17 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  8. 8

    You are terrified of the possibility that Michael Jackson's body will be reanimated during the great zombie uprising of 2034.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Quinn T. Faerber

    16 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  9. 9

    You CAN believe it's not butter and now think the government is coming to silence you to cover up their experiments.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Andrew Volpe

    14 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  10. 10

    This... is not a problem. WORLD HUNGER, is a problem.

    Diagnosed by Dr. christina krasowski

    14 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  11. 11

    You believe Jennifer Lopez is a real person.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Stephen Fairbanks

    13 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  12. 12

    You take the term "literally" too literally.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Sarah Ketner

    13 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  13. 13

    There is life outside of facebook.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Sarah Ketner

    13 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  14. 14

    Your response to any 'fight / flight' situation is jazz hands and toothy smile.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Stephen Fairbanks

    13 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  15. 15

    You know, you can go to bars without going home with a stranger.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Sarah Ketner

    12 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  16. 16

    You refuse to believe that Canada is a real country.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Sarah Ketner

    12 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  17. 17

    You must stop wearing pants, and move to the forest. It is the only way. Hurry.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Castilleja Kuzis

    12 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  18. 18

    Get off the computer already and DO something about it.

    Diagnosed by Dr. christina krasowski

    12 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  19. 19

    Your lack of self-worth stems from your parents naming you 'thingy'.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Stephen Fairbanks

    12 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

  20. 20

    That's nothing a glass of wine can't fix.

    Diagnosed by Dr. Sarah Ketner

    11 votes | Browse and rate Diagnoses | Write a Diagnoses

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